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by Aira_Loves_Herself



Series: Of Friends And Families {Kpop Platonic One-shots} [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Zhong Chen Le-centric, evryone loves him, the hyungs care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-10-15 23:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17538146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aira_Loves_Herself/pseuds/Aira_Loves_Herself
Summary: Chenle wants to read commenst by himself!! He doesn't need the hyungs to read them out for him,So he studies hard on both his Korean and EnglishButWhere are the comments about him?





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**Author's Note:**

> Hello Readers!!
> 
> I'm your Author and Imma do a little explanation for this particular series.
> 
> Like it was stated in the summary, this will be a platonic-ship series
> 
> AKA BFFs, family and such
> 
> On each one shot, there's a centered-pairing
> 
> HOWEVER 
> 
> Other ships other than that particular ship might happen (only slightly)
> 
> Example: 
> 
> Centered Pair: BTS {Jikook}
> 
> But Jungkook or Jimin may be involved in a romantic relationship with another person in that particular one shot 
> 
> The groups that I can write about are (The list may grow):
> 
> • BTS
> 
> • EXO
> 
> • Seventeen
> 
> • Astro
> 
> • NCT
> 
> • Wanna One
> 
> • Monsta X
> 
> • Stray Kids
> 
> • Got7
> 
> • Golden Child
> 
> • Nine Percent
> 
> Feel free to drop ideas in the comments but no promises that I'll actually write them. 
> 
> Other AUs and crossovers may happen

Chenle is bright

His adorableness and cheerful vibe are always adored by all, and maybe the hyungs doted on him more than Jisung but Jisung is more thankful for that than complaining. Chenle's Korean isn't the best among the chinaline but it's pretty decent, he takes a little longer to read sentences but it's fine.

**Comments**

Their manager constantly tells them to lay off the comments, period. But he knows that the 00 liners loves reading them, they'll search up their videos on YouTube and spent hours huddled up together and read what nctzens have to say about them.

Chenle thinks their fans are really funny and kind of crazy too, like them. It's either fawning over how handsome they looked and how amazingly they pull off a part in the song or clowning their every action from a small wink to someone shoving another person to the floor. Cezennies are hilarious and Chenle loves them.

But you see, Chenle isn't good with reading, and majority of the comments aren't even Korean and his English isn't any better, decent but it could be better. But his heart envies whenever Renjun's face scrunches up in laughter or Mark going off after scrolling down the comment section.

He didn't want them to read it out to him, he wants to read it himself.

"Lele, are you.... studying?"

Jisung had asked him once. Awestruck that the older is actually going through a book. "Yup, you'll see. I'll be so much better at both Korean AND English than you!"

After weeks, Chenle decides that he's ready. Their We Go up album just dropped recently, so now wrapped in his blankets, phone in hand, he goes under to their MV comment section. He was so excited, especially when he could perfectly read and understand the first few English comments.

_Renjun is on a whole another level in this MV_

_MEN SERIOUSLY LET ME SAY THIS AGAIN, THIS SONG IS LIT AND DESERVES MORE RECOGNITION AND APRECIATION AND AWARDS AND AND EVERYTHING_

_Omg, Jaemin look so handsome at 2:10 😌😌_

_how can a 16 years old boy like Jisung be so hot and cute while not Even trying JUST HOW ANWSER ME just how_

Like he expected, it was pretty darn funny how they overreacted. He scrolls down a little more, there's some going how it was such a bop, sad that this was Mark's last, and some are really long comments that seems like essays. Frowning, he scrolls deeper down but sighs when a while had passed and he still couldn't find it.

None

there were none about him

Not a single one

They were praising Jaemin for the iconic intro rap, gushing over Renjun's voice, dying at Jeno's lines, freaking out at Jisung's voice change, raps and lines, Haechan's ethereal as always voice in the bridge and don't even get him started with the amount of Mark stans in there.

But no one is talking about him

And that sparks a pain in his heart that he was unfamiliar with, it was like the deeper he goes, the worse it gets. There isn't his name written anywhere, and maybe he sounded selfish but he wants to see, to read, someone or anyone comment anything at all about him.

_Lol why Chenle still looks like a kid pffttt_

There was one and he nearly cheered in happiness until he reads and tries to understood what it meant. He couldn't decipher it properly, that's what he was convincing himself, it sounded like a hate comment, it feels like a hate comment. And it was the only comment he found of himself.

He turns off his phone and burry himself into the pillows, but he couldn't sleep. The short English sentence keeps nagging in his mind, if it wasn't hurtful enough to know no one says anything about him but the only person who comments about him just so happens to do it in order to throw hate at him?

Chenle feels like crying, maybe he didn't truly understand.

Since he couldn't sleep anyway, he rose from the bed and pulls the chair to his desk. He lays out several English books and some Korean ones too, he studies till the late of night.

The next day, he waits for the team's cue by finding more comments, Chenle learns that it's rare for them to mention him in the comment section and just finding any would light him up in happiness, even it it's just _'Chenle is so cute'_.

He never runs into any more hate comments, but sometimes he doubts what he reads, contemplating if it's really what it means or he's just reading it wrongly. This small flame of doubt had push into taking more time to study, the sudden urge to know what this means, what that means.

From the usually out going and loud member, he slowly grows quiet and seems to always be deep in thoughts. Through the busyness of comeback, and the amount of schedules everyone had, nobody notices the boy withdrawing himself from them, picking up a book and practices his languages.

Chenle can't help but be jealous of them with the comments, they're always in the spotlight, it was never him. He never stood out, the fans probably don't even notice him in those videos. He was too plain, too boring, like a meaningless background character no one remembered existed.

So that night when hyungs wants to do a huge live together, he planned to go all out.

"Hello everyone!!!! I'm Zhong Chenle!!!" He was being loud, but he didn't care. "No hyung you're terrible at it!!" He's being unconditionally mean, but he feels that they'll understand.

"If you don't want to do it then DON'T DO IT!!!" He failed to see Taeyong and Kun frowning at him, he was cutting others off while they were talking, it was annoying but as long as maybe a few fans could see him.

"No no no no hyung!! NO, I'll DO IT!!" he didn't see the hurt flash of Haechan's face when he pushed him, or maybe Jisung's surprised face when he done it. The managers are glaring deathly at him but he takes it upon himself to endure their lectures later

"BYE EVERYONE!!!!" Chenle shouted at the camera.

Taeyong nudges Kun, the latter nods before walking over to Chenle. "Le, what's with you?" Chenle looks at him hyung confusedly, "You're not usually like this, you were being really rude just now" technically he was, but surely his hyungs can take a joke right? "I'm just joking around ge, you know I don't mean anything I said"

Maybe he's overdid it? But hyungs always gets attention without even so much as to need to talk, they wouldn't know how he feels and why he did what he did. Taeyong hyung could just, existed. And millions would comment and gush over him.

"Still, every joke has its limits and you just crossed it. I want you to apologize to Haechan and Lucas okay? They're hurt by what you said, and also the other hyungs that you rudely cut off when they were talking just now" Chenle stares at the floor, did he really upset so many members? All because he wanted some attention?

"Okay ge"

And so he did, apologized to everyone for his sudden off behavior. He never realizes what damage he was doing, it made him feel bad. But once he apologizes to everyone, packs his things up and returns to his house, he quickly finds himself a quiet part to read the comments for that live after showering and getting ready for bed.

He smiled when he saw 5 times the number of comments he usually gets, it worked, the idea works! But his smile didn't last long.

_What the heck is wrong with Chenle today? He's being annoying_

_Did...did he just cut Taeil off like that?!? Chenle you're mean_

_Wow Chenle is cute and all but that was just rude!_

He got comments alright, but these aren't what he wants to see. These are comments of hate, directed at him, strictly at him. It was upsetting, he feels tear pricking at his eyes, the mix of Korean and English blurring on his phone screen. No, it can't be right? He just got lost in translations.

Pulling up the chair once more, he has his phone and one side and a dictionary on the other with several other books. It hurt his eyes, he was tired and drained but he knows he won't sleep knowing there's such comments about him. He looked and studies the words, seconds becoming hours and till his vision is blurred with tears.

He couldn't sleep, so he studies.

It was funny to Chenle, the hyungs never noticed a thing that changed about him. His laughs becoming less constant and his smile fading, if he changes his character and image to maybe something much cooler, the fans would notice. The bright colors he usually ears turning into varies of darker tones, he wanted to like his new self but he couldn't.

He was true about one thing, hyungs don't notice anything, but his only dongseng sure as hell did.

Jisung wasn't too sure what had happened, one minute he was his usual Chenle but now it was Jisung barely knew him. Chenle spend much less time with him too, Jisung found out he kept himself busy with studying.

He had Dancing High to worry about but he can't ignore the sudden change in his hyung, and frankly he's getting sick of it.

"Chenle, what's going on?" he pulls him to the side during backstage, it hurts seeing Chenle, the adorable boy he knows looking so exhausted and just done.

"Nothing, what do you even mean?"

"You changed" was all Jisung could muster up, "Yeah? Everyone changes Jisung" there wasn't even a trace of the cheerful sweetness he always have on his face

"I missed my Lele" Chenle tenses but didn't respond, he turns and leave. "I'm tired of being Lele" because Lele gets ignored, new Chenle doesn't.

And it went on for weeks, it was from that encounter did the hyungs finally notice the tension between the two youngest. Jisung looks obviously sad while Chenle wasn't himself, "Mark hyung, you gotta do something about it" Jeno voices out, eventually it was pulling down the group's dynamics.

"I know but Chenle isn't letting me in and Jisung doesn't want to talk about it"

And Taeyong steps in for the rescue, "Let's have a big sleepover together in the 127 dorms, clear your schedules!" Chenle wouldn't even protest with that, there's no going against Taeyong hyung. There's a feast waiting for them and soon he feels himself slipping back to his old self.

Mark smiles along with Taeyong, it'll be alright. "Guys, come on sit down, it's crack videos time!" it was a thing they had, once in a while, they'll come together and watch fan made videos (usually the vines and funny ones) together.

They always watch the English ones since those were the funniest, sometimes the English line would translate for them and sometime they don't have to because the video is funny as it is. So Chenle sat in between Renjun and Kun, Jisung behind him nestle in Taeyong's lap.

When the first video rolls in, everyone is laughing till the point of tears. It was just a weird video of dripping but it got them howling like wolves. The next video requires some translations by said English line, the usual cycle would be Jaehyun, Ten, Lucas, Johnny and Mark laughing out loud first and they'll proceed to explain the joke to the others.

But this time, it wasn't just them, Chenle couldn't hold it in and burst out into his Dolphin laugh at the joke. The rest were surprised, _"Chenle, you understood it?"_ Mark asks in English out of reflex and was about to repeat in Korean until Chenle replied to him, in perfect English.

_" _Yeah, oh my god that was hilarious!!"__

"Chenle, when did you speak perfect English?!" Renjun exclaims, "He's been studying, he doesn't even hang out with me anymore" Jisung muttered a little bitterly. This cause a concern to raise, "Why? You don't need to study so hard for it" Dooyoung adds.

"I just wanted to read comments by myself"

That, strikes a chord. Mark shudders in his seat, a hand on his head, it's pretty easy to put two and two together now. Of course, it all make sense now.

Kun frowns, "You've been reading comments? Is that why you're being like this Lele?" he had no idea, he knows what kind of hurt it is to read hate comments.

"Like what?" Everyone looks at him, unsure what to say. "You're acting very unlike you. We're worried" Chenle takes a few seconds to truly process Winwin's words

"So you did notice......." He mumbled, and he guess he did it too loud. "Of course, we did, we're very worried about you. And you seem stiff with Jisung and all"

"I just want my best friend back, he's acting like some ignorant jerk I don't know" Jisung spats, "Jisung" Johnny sternly says. "Look, we know what you've read must have disturb you some way but trust us it's not true" But Chenle couldn't take it. He breaks down in tears

"Hyungs don't get it, you don't see"

Kun hugs him, "Chenle ah, hate comments aren't true. You're amazing just the way you are" but Chenle pushes him away. "See! You don't get it, none of you do!!" he's frustrated, they wouldn't know, how would thy know? They're always noticed, fans always saw them.

"What do you mean?" Jaemin asks.

"There are no comments!! I don't have comments, nobody sees me in NCT, it's like I don't exist. I'm just trying to be visible to them, I just want to be relevant"

There was silence, even a pin drop could be heard. "I just want them to notice me" he mumbled, the tears never wanting to cease. "C-Chenle...." Renjun and Kun hugs him, hugs him like he was a fragile flower that could easily break.

"I studied because I thought I was misunderstanding their words, those rare comments of me are confusing, I can't tell exactly what they meant"

"Lele, we're so sorry" Haechan sobs, crying along. "how long.... how long have you been...?" Winwin asks, "I don't know...a couple months? Why can't they see me hyung? I'm not invisible" nobody knew what to say because this wasn't a common occurrence, they were so used to comforting one another when someone receives hate comments that a situation like this is completely new.

Even Taeyong is at loss, is that why he had acted up one time?

"Lele, they do see you it's just that......" the words aren't forming, there was nothing Kun could say because it's true. There is no explanation, you can't say that they're lying or joking or jealous because nothing was said.  "You see.....I don't even exists to them!" Chenle cries harder, Jisung had stayed quiet because he doesn't know what to say.

"Chenle, I know we can't do much about that but we're here for you okay?" Dooyoung says, his motherly tone in used. "We're here and we'll even help you, however it'll be, it's okay baby" Jungwoo mumbled running his hand through his hair.

It felt like a heavy weight is lifted off his shoulders, Chenle feels like he could finally breathe. "Chenle..... _hyung_ , I'm sorry" Jisung muttered, and Jisung never calls him hyung. "It'll be fine, it's okay, you're okay with us yeah?" Chenle leans at Johnny's comfort, the elder picking the boy up into his arms.

He doesn't know exactly how they're going to help him, and he knows it'll take more time for him to revert back to his old self but his hyungs are here, they cared, they noticed, they loved him.

So Chenle thought _'I'll be fine, I'll understand soon, they see me, hyungs see me'_  and for now, that's all that matters.

 


End file.
